One of the most difficult things about fashion is wanting to look extremely good with minimal effort or minimal cost and maximum comfort. But as the menswear suits guy on Twitter (@dieworkwear) has explained, finding a style that represents you requires thought and experience and experimentation and eventually, at least some money/time invested. People looking online for fashion advice rather than consulting a stylist means they don’t have the time or income for professionals, or at least a butler, therefore they want good cheap answers asap (because time is money for us commoners.) Menswear suits guy on Twitter could make wardrobe checklists all day for men interested in upgrading their wardrobe, yet the resulting outfit may not even look that good on a certain person’s build and would not truly reflect their personality or lifestyle while costing them time and money. Still, the masses cry out for fashion advice from the professionally trained stylists that the movie stars and royalty employ, because we are not all Italians born with innate eyes for fashion, I guess.
In light of that, here is my in-depth style guide for wearing lolita skirts. Why? Because I wear lolita skirt coords, and I want to make an in depth guide ala menswear suits Twitter guy to help both new and experienced lolitas, to test my writing abilities and as a reference to improve my own future coords. Am I qualified to give advice? Not really, but I have decades of wearing lolita experience and do have a background in illustration and sewing lolita and historical costume, which is more than zero qualifications.
Skirts… the untamed frontier
Skirts in lolita fashion are the most available and versatile main piece, relatively easy to sew or alter from normal fashion, and yet more difficult to style compared to dresses. This is due to dresses coordinating your top and bottom half seamlessly, getting you a perfectly matching 80% of the outfit in just one expensive item. Whereas the less expensive skirts mean you have to style top and bottom halves with your own brain most of the time, and then also do the extra 20% work to match the rest of your outfit (your hairpiece, your purse, your legwear/shoes, etc). Not to mention, most lolita skirts visually draw a line at your waist, highlighting the area of the body women (or those who identify as female) might feel self-conscious about, and even people who are happy with their tummy may also have digestive or sensory issues that the act of wearing a skirt over a petticoat over other undergarments and tights would aggravate. Finally, the visual line at your waist, 50% of your height, also tends to make you look short and frumpy, adding volume where normie fashion tries to slim, and doing no service to your legs or height. Maybe you don’t care about these issues, and that’s perfectly fine, but we are trying to pretend I am menswear Twitter guy here, so I’m posing lolita-specific problems that he might point out if he were into lolita.
To begin with, here is me wearing skirts in lolita coords from 2017 and 2021. I don’t think these are bad coords, but they could use more finesse, so I will use my own guide to improve these coords at the end.
- [fashion, 2017 to 2021]
I hope you learn something going on this style journey with me, even if it’s just for fun. Let’s ambitiously go through these issues one by one!
1. Matching top and skirt is too difficult, brain hurt
Let’s take a page from menswear Twitter guy and focus on his adage of “what is the story you are trying to tell with your outfit?” – that is, what was the influence you used to come up with the coord. If the influence, the story, happens to match your preferred style and makes you happy, then you have achieved peak lolita coord. Bad coords are when the individual pieces do not make a coherent story, they take from too many different clashing influences without a clear goal in mind, they don’t seem to reflect your personal flair, and you look uncomfortable and self-conscious when wearing the outfit.
What are common lolita stories out there that can help you choose a top with relative ease? Obviously the 3 main substyle categories of gothic, sweet, classic, inform your overall decision about colors and patterns and textures, but here are more specific stories with example photos from the major lolita brands and street snaps in Japan.
- a historically-inspired story: this works well because lolita has a lot of historical influences, such as rococco, Victorian, mid-century vintage, folk costume, kimono, and it’s what menswear Twitter guy would usually mention at least once per thread. If you have an elaborate skirt with bustle and ruffles and floral lace, an ideal choice is an elegant pin-tuck blouse with a high ruffly collar, and a Victorian-era influenced bolero with puff sleeves. For a printed cotton skirt with bright colors and retro motifs like cherries and bows, then you might choose a simpler blouse with a lower collar plus a cropped letterman jacket or sweet embroidered cardigan to evoke 1950s poodle skirts or vintage Barbie. This Innocent World stock photo below represents ideal grandma-chic Victorian-inspired classic lolita, as the Morris skirt’s print is basically vintage Morris tapestry designs.
- a specific occupation, “character” or role: another aspect menswear Twitter guy would refer to, so think of aristocrat, maid or waitress, vampire, student, sailor, pirate, witch, fairy, Alice in Wonderland, cowboy, etc. This can fall into a costume or cosplay which may look silly, but if visualizing a character helps you make studied, thoughtful choices when pulling together the various parts of your lolita coord, then don’t hesitate. You can always put back one or two goofy over-the-top items to tone the coord down if needed.
- Metamorphose Temps de Fille is the origin for many character stories, especially sailor, and this adorable nautical coord, which is actually a loose-fitting sailor collar blouse tucked into a high-waist skirt worn by Misako, is no exception.
- For the goths, you can wear a typical elastic waist skirt but then accessorize in rich layers of dark colors to evoke androgynous old-world vampire, like this skirt from Moi Meme Moitie
- Metamorphose Temps de Fille is the origin for many character stories, especially sailor, and this adorable nautical coord, which is actually a loose-fitting sailor collar blouse tucked into a high-waist skirt worn by Misako, is no exception.
- your fashion idols: feel free to study the coords of fellow lolitas or lolita models and fashion magazine street snaps you like, try to find out what makes the coord work, or how that outfit could work for you if you owned that wardrobe. To develop a personalized style, avoid copying someone’s coord directly, but consider that lolita brands do supply an entire outfit from head to toe, and maybe twinning dresses with a friend is your dream. Menswear Twitter guy often pulls photos of European royalty and cultural icons like Kermit the Frog to showcase classy yet comfortable tailoring and tasteful coordination. Although sometimes brands post really dreadful stock example photos, taking a look at the models such as Misako or Mana or Usakumya (lol) is still a good starting point. Here is a street snap from Gothic and Lolita Bible 61 in 2016 that show a lolita’s outfit in its natural environment as a street fashion, note the mixing of brands yet still cohesive cute and girlish story with matching Usakumya at the waist.
- forget all of that and just be comfortable: because a skirt in lolita is seen as the more casual choice compared to a jumperskirt or one piece dress, just lean into the casual factor and wear a cute graphic tee-shirt and tuck it in to the skirt. Put on those Gen Z tube socks, chunky sneakers or crocs, then put your hair in a pony-tail scrunchie or baseball cap – go full comfy, don’t look back.
2. That line dividing my body in half
Menswear Twitter guy has less to say on this because men have to wear shirts with pants, they do not wear single piece overalls or jumpsuits often outside of work and only a few cultures where men wear “dresses” (tunics, usually) in modern times. But he advises creating a clean silhouette from neck to ankle by wearing vests and jackets/coats and blazers and suspenders (or cummerbunds) that visually break up that horizontal line at the waist a little, so there is no harsh demarcation right at your tummy, or a peek of the shirt underneath that might draw the eye there. This applies to regular women’s fashion and actually ouji or gothic aristocrat fashion as well. Specifically for lolita, look for jackets or blazers or other outerwear that draw the color from the skirt to the upper half (assuming you wore a different color blouse than your skirt), or vests with an interesting hem to cover the waistband, or try a corset belt or cincher or sash or even suspenders. If your coord story supports it, you could consider an apron; it would still create a line at your waist unless you get a pinafore style to cover your bodice, but now there is a little more vertical interest because of the color/texture/layer difference. This is all so the eye of the viewer doesn’t linger at the visible contrast at your navel area but instead travels up, towards your face, where most people want the attention, (unless you really hate your face and want people to look at your belly button instead.)
The street snap model here from Gothic and Lolita Bible volume 62 mixes brands and vintage, and uses a matching black vest to create the appearance of an elegant jumperskirt that the pillbox hat and parasol complement so well.
The “exception” to this halving line is the high-waisted bottom piece, which in lolita, usually means a skirt (or shorts for ouji) with a corsetted waist attached to the main piece, the corset part being in the back or front or both. Such a skirt does not start at your waist, it starts at your ribs or maybe even higher at the underbust. It effortlessly overcomes the dividing line at the navel and draws attention up to your bust and hopefully up to your face, but it lacks a fully elastic waistband found on many lolita skirts, the very thing that makes skirts accessible to plus-size lolitas, so could be a little uncomfortable. This is a high waist corset skirt from Alice and the Pirates with matching hat and lace collar.
If you happen to find a top or outerwear that exactly matches your skirt, because some brands do release coordinating blouses and skirts in solids and prints, this would be perfect, as it’s basically a dress cut in half. There may be a few bumps or lines up close, but from a distance, it would look like a dress. This doesn’t happen with every release, maybe once or twice a year, but worth keeping an eye out especially among solid pieces from different brands or even off-brand. See this Baby the Stars Shine Bright pink tartan check set below, absolutely perfect suspender skirt, jacket and headbow for when you want to defend your client in court but still look cute.
Note, long lolita coats that button up essentially make a one-piece (and also not feasible in hot weather), while dusters or peignoirs are not always voluminous so have to be styled deliberately over a floofy skirt, but similar long-length outerwear are a fashionista’s staple if you want them for normie wardrobe. For example, petite stylists always recommend trench coats for some reason, because looking like a private detective is flattering and luxe, sure, okay.
3. Also really hurts my tummy
I don’t have an answer besides wear your petticoat higher and your skirt lower on your waist or vice versa to lessen the intense pressure at your guts. And also, don’t wear tights or bloomers or shapewear if possible, and maybe avoid the sash/cincher/high-corset-waist skirt advice in part 2 lol.
4. Makes me look so dumpy, help
For this, recognizing most women want to look tall and lean yet shapely, however we must deal with the fact that nearly all of lolita fashion is going to make you look short and frumpy. Part 2 can help with looking short by disguising the 50% cut off line at the waist or drawing the eye up and down rather than side to side, but it won’t help with lolita’s unusual silhouette, due to the typical lolita skirt adding a high amount of puffiness at the waist (gathered waistband, a cupcake shaped petticoat, bloomers, untucked top). Such a skirt profile could enhance the appearance of “junk in the trunk” which is not too bad lol, but then the skirt length cuts off abruptly below the knees, therefore disguising long legs if you have them, or emphasizing stubby calves. Wearing a sleeker a-line skirt and flatter petticoat could make you look leaner, but if the hem hits between knees and ankles, which it almost always does in lolita, then you still have the shortening effect. How can you style this long midi skirt from Angelic Pretty below in a flattering way? Impossible, right?
A common women’s fashion tip is to go monochrome dark solid colors for parts that you don’t want to draw the eye to, as dark colors minimize while light colors maximize. So if you think your legs are short or unshapely, then you would wear solid black tights under your skirt/shorts with solid black shoes with heels to make you look taller and leaner like Fran Drescher Nanny. But that is not a typical lolita look, as socks/tights are often patterned or decorated, and the shoes would have color and detail to contrast with the tights, and more often do not have very high heels. In the end, Angelic Pretty did not style that long midi skirt in a flattering way, and yet… and yet, I like what this coord below is giving. It’s comfy and casual, teddy bears from top to bottom.
So embrace the potato-like nature of the lolita coord. You are wearing lolita because you rejected the uniform of the modern woman in your culture, there is no need to abide by the rules of normie dressing. Frumpiness, looking like your grandma’s couch, is actually the desired goal for classic lolitas, and empire waist shapeless sack dresses had its heyday in the 2010s and will probably return in the near future. People who stand out get weird looks and are seen as unattractive by society, whether it’s lolita or gothic or punk or retro or any non-jeans-non-tshirt fashion, but you really only need your own approval when it comes to personal style, especially for a fashion as artistic as lolita.
As menswear Twitter guy always writes when people argue with him which is all the time, clothing is simultaneously unimportant and so important to humans, and that is why he gives out high-level sartorial advice publicly, because it should be common knowledge like it was in the past, that is, the era of suits he is trying to bring back in a very obvious agenda, and yet his free advice is treated like an attack on the character and soul. I want to add to this, humans are highly social and visual creatures and can’t help but assign significance to fashion even if they claim it’s just fabric protecting you from the elements. That’s why you gotta wear your clothes as best as you can, and don’t let clothes wear you. Whether that means getting custom tailoring, learning to sew, watching and waiting at the thrift stores or resale sites, working with new information but discarding trends that don’t work; you make the outfit work for you.
In conclusion, skirts… they exist
Lolita fashion requires money to buy a lot of stuff, or time (which is money) to DIY your stuff, a lot of effort to build up experience and preferences, a lot of correcting mistakes or chasing after rare items or selling ones that no longer fit. It’s expensive work, and will never be as comfortable as jeans and a t-shirt or pajamas. It can even be demoralizing if you are constantly on social media comparing yourself to influencers with professional cameras and well-lit studios and lots of photoshop. Just keep in mind, lolita doesn’t have to be your everyday wardrobe, and you can work on perfecting two or three coords as needed for your budget, and go on to develop a generalized kawaii Japanese street fashion wardrobe if that’s more wearable and doable for you. However, if you choose this difficult yet rewarding path of lolita, I hope this guide taught you something new and inspired you, the way the menswear twitter guy educated and entertained (and enraged) so many.
If you disagree with this guide, well, I don’t care because this guide was written as a thought experiment for me. Anyway, returning to my skirt coords from the beginning, I will discuss how I could improve them if I had infinite time/money.
The second coord is uhh casual gothic, again with the 2 clashing substyles. I wore an Angelic Pretty cutsew over 2 handmade skirts, one velvet burnout with bats over a solid purple skirt. The gothic print socks are also purple/black, the black boots are off-brand. The colors and texture are fine, not a perfect match but not the worst, but I lack a visible hair piece to draw the purple up towards my face, so the attention lingers on my relatively bright socks. This isn’t too bad to me, because the socks are designed by an artist I admire and deserve to be seen. But the perfect coord story would have a visible purple hair accessory like beret or simple hairbow, and maybe one more thing on my wrists, like a scrunchy for the casual vibes.
Finally, the question that is always asked, do you tuck your blouse into the skirt or no? As you can see, I decided not to, because both tops have a ruffle on the bottom that signify the hem is ok to be seen. Blouses that are longer in length and have no decorations at the bottom should be tucked in.
Here are more resources about wearing lolita skirts including different styling tips I haven’t covered. If you have a link to share, let me know and I’ll add it to this list!
1. Lolita How-to: Coording Skirts by Pochatalupae on Youtube
2. Advanced Coordinating series by Cupcake-kamisama (blog and videos)
3. Lolita 101: Styling Skirts by Lovely Lace and Lies